Sunday, January 11, 2009

*First Love and the Innocent

 As long as I could remember , my first love begun with the physical attraction of a classmate in my kindergarten class. My culture impacted me to define the beauty of the women in the following ways: long hair , eyes that are as bright as stars, and being skinny. Anne possessed all these qualities. Because she was the smartest kid, according to my teacher, she was elected to be class president-teacher assistance and disciplinarian. Duel to her popularity , she had both enemies and friends . They were boys who admired her beauty and girls who were upset at her abusing power. Gradually I noticed that she didn't like me in the following ways. First , she ignored my eyes contact( the easiest method for two lovers to find their real love). Second, boys surrounded her like bees enclosed the flower. Listening to my pathetic story, mother just laughed and exhorted her beloved son not to fall in love because children were too innocent to know what love really was. For all of the reasons and my mother advise, I decided to give up on her.

    To me, Anne was the worst memory which I should get it out of my system. Looking at the blue sky , I looked forward to new happier life in elementary. Unfortunately , we went to the same school and were in the same classes when both of us were in fourth grade. One interested thing about Anne , I had not seen in kindergarten, was that she attempted to make friend with classmates who sat next  to her. To other girls in class, she was considered a flirt. All of my concerns about her was forgotten by Valentine's appearance. I had to admitted this all the fourth grade girls were crazy about him. Perhaps his spiky hair , handsome face and being a gallant explained why he was quiet popular in school. If I was a girl, I was going to a date with him. In class , he was my assigned study partner. Seeing  the method he used to solve algebraic equations, I gave him A plus every day for being a outstanding student ,if I were a teacher. As the moths passed, we decided to become best friends and promised not to allow anything ,diminishing the bond of trust between us.

     As usual Anne almost not communicated with me ,even when we were sitting next to each other. But today ,I thought , was the happiest day of my life. An extraordinary thing happened- Anne wanted me to be her boyfriend."Boy friend?", I asked like an alien visiting a new planet. 
"Yes", Anne relied. Her red clip, softly answering my question, made me wanted to kiss her, even though it was inappropriate. Adults' observation  limited our romantic activities; therefore, all we did was holding hands. Walking to school , eating lunch , and doing homework together, I had the feeling that I was so into her. Her beauty cause me hardly to resist. Holding tight my hand and looking straight at my eyes, she told me that" Someday, we will get married." She caused my exhilaration grew greater. In response, I said," Anne , I will love you forever."

     Lying on my bed  and putting hands on my forehead, I kept wondering what motivate Anne  to love me. Perhaps she noticed my feeling for her, and somehow our emotions were mutual.I regretted for listening to my mother advises. I imagined what would be different , if I confessed to her when we had been in kindergarten. I thought her face would be blush.

2 comments:

isaac said...

My favorite part was the part when you said what your culture thinks is beautiful. It gave me an idea of how other cultures define beautiful.

Lorita said...

Yeah, it is a good idea to think about how culture defines women. Every culture has their own idea about "the perfect woman" and you really think about what each describes. It's quite interesting.